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Divorce Help | June 20, 2024

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Reasons to Avoid a Messy Divorce


Most of us have heard of messy divorce stories. Drawn out court battles that leave both sides bitter and angry are what many people anticipate when going into divorce court. Since this option can be expensive and lead to many years of hostility it is important to really decide if that is worth pursuing.

An uncontested divorce is any divorce where there are no disagreements between you and your spouse over any family law related issues. You agree on all aspects of your divorce such as division of property, child custody and support, and alimony.

It is hard to give advice to anyone on divorce since pretty much every divorce is different. A lot of times people will wake up and realize that the person they have spent half their lives with is a now a stranger to them. The best advice I have ever heard regarding divorce though is very simple, you can decide from the beginning that you want to be happy, or decide that you want to be right.

When children are included the argument is a lot harder to make, but I strongly believe couples should make every effort to come to an easy agreement on every other issue. It is important to understand that after almost any divorce both sides are going to suffer some loss of quality of life. Regardless of who in the relationship made more money, you now have one income to support an entire household. Rent, groceries, basic maintenance, and spending money are all your responsibility to pay for now.

If you can accept this and commit to a plan where you will feel stable in a few years, it will be easier to walk away from a divorce without feelings of resentment if you felt like you deserved more out of your spouse. Meeting with a financial advisor and investing in career growth through education or training to plan for the next 5-10 years can make you feel more comfortable about your current status.

An uncontested divorce can be less time consuming, and more cost efficient for couples as well. There are many lawyers, such as Florida divorce attorney Steven D. Miller, that even offer online uncontested divorces these days. These services allow you to finalize your divorce without a lengthy court battle, and sometimes you can skip going to court all together.

I understand that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to divorce. If you can accept that the entire process is going to feel unfair, life-changing, and going to throw all of your emotions into a whirlwind you can start to work on accepting these feelings for what they are. It is more important to address how you’re going to start a new life and how you’re going to address these negative thoughts instead of fighting over a few items or some money. In the end your time, health, and well-being should be your main priority. I can almost guarantee that no one will look back on their divorce in a decade and think they were happier they fought for money, than if they were able to find some peace quickly in their lives.

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