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Divorce Help | September 19, 2017

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Top 5 Reasons Women Have Affairs - Divorce Help

Top 5 Reasons Women Have Affairs
Jessica Nowicki

Men and women are inherently different. We are wired differently and we have all types of reasons for behaving the way we do. When it comes to affairs, it’s not uncommon for people to associate the cheater with the male in the relationship. However, with hush-hush dating services like AshleyMadison.com that connects married people who are looking to have an affair, we are finding that wives are looking to have extramarital affairs more and more frequently. We’ve narrowed down the top five reasons women cheat on their husbands.

1. Longing for an emotional connection

While 92% of men who cheat say that they have primarily sexual motives, sexual intimacy doesn’t even make most women’s lists. Experts have revealed that by-and-large, women are motivated to have affairs for emotion-based reasons. They are generally lonesome, disconnected from their spouse and often feel as though they are taken for granted. Helen Fishes, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, conducted a study that found that 34% of women who had affairs were happy in their marriage, while 56% of men who cheated were happy in their marriage. A woman who feels more like an employee than a lover is more likely to search for extramarital relationships.

2. Boredom and loneliness

This reason typically applies to housewives who are at home by themselves for most of the day, caring for children and doing housework. You may remember when “Mad Men’s” attention-seeking housewife Betty Draper fantasized about herself in a steamy scenario with a salesman who dropped by. Some women who find themselves alone for long periods of time feel as though their lives lack purpose, and look for relationships with other men in order to fill the void.

3. A means to an end

Many women who have affairs have emotionally checked-out long before they become intimate with another mate. A lot of the time, women transition out of a marriage they aren’t happy in by finding another partner, and are subconsciously looking for an exit strategy. Women commonly seek out a source of comfort when aspects of their lives (like their relationships with their husbands) are spiraling downward.

Other times, females use affairs as a cry for help in order to save their marriage. They hope that their husband will finally understand how bad the marriage has become, and want to save it before it meets its demise.

4. Revenge

Women who have affairs with intention usually do so in order to get revenge on their cheating spouse. These women won’t be happy until they get even – and there’s only one way to do that. Though we are all taught that you can’t fight fire with fire, many women use cheating as retaliation and a way to even the playing field. Women often have vengeful affairs when their husband either has refused to spill the beans about his cheating ways, or has not taken the steps to help fix their marriage after he has had an affair.

5. Intimacy disorder

Yes, it’s a real thing. With all the recently outed celebrity sex addicts, we know that intimacy disorders can sound like an invalid excuse for bad behavior. In reality, early childhood trauma and sex abuse in both men and women can lead to a lifetime of sex addiction or serial cheating. When left unresolved, childhood sexual trauma can lead to serious emotional instability, and many women seek the consistency of feeling wanted and important through incessant sexual activity.

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